I volunteered to stay home with T's eldest whilst she and the youngest went to a my little ponies party. These were the instructions:
T: Just one thing dude, Alisa won't wipe your bottom
Me: Yep, that's true
*thinking ... just as well she mentioned that!*
So ... it's not *quiet* here yet and so far I've made four rounds of fairybread. We'll see how this goes ... I suddenly do not have high hopes.