Secondly, am back on the list program with a deadline of Christmas - well actually Dec 23 - to complete. The list has 165 items (sorry Rachel!) and I need to have done 21 by the time I go to bed tonight. I've done 2 and I didn't sleep well last night so it's looking tight. I'm also committing to a steady reading for LSS2009 of 3 stories a day, everyday. And have only read 3 so far for Dec.
So yeah, it's going well! But I was feeling very sleepy and lethargic and uninspired. Something I am learning about myself is I get into funny loops - things get messy and behind and then I feel bad, lose momentum and things get messier and more behind. And the longer it goes on, the harder it is to pull out and the more expansive the mess becomes. For ages I have been talking about finding the switch that flips me between for want of a better analogy - good gj versus bad gj. Maybe it's not a switch at all. Maybe it's more like a slide.
There's something to be said for the Flylady approach. As easy as it would have been to throw in the towel tonight, have cheese on toast, deal with nothing at home and just start all over again tomorrow, I didn't do that. I got up, made dinner and in the 15 mins it took to boil the rice, I cleaned up my kitchen sorted a bunch of stuff into my work bag for tomorrow so they will get done and then just looking at a tidy kichen perked me up. I got some other stuff done. And then I did some TPP stuff. And I don't feel like I lost the day and have to find the momentum to gear up tomorrow. Cause it feeds on itself and I have the momentum now to feed into tomorrow.
Maybe I finally figured out how to deal with myself when I don't want to do stuff? Do something else, no matter how small, but that is easy to look at as completed and an improvement from the status quo.
Meanwhile, it's nearly bedtime and I didn't *actually* get to the stuff on the to do list.