See, even though we've been broken up for what? coming up to 2 years (about 20 months?), I hadn't actually stopped sleeping on my side of the bed. Not because I thought he was coming back. Not because I wanted him to come back. Mostly because I didn't plan on remaining single for long and so didn't want to do that whole thing where you get used to sleeping on your side of the bed again. But yeah, that's kinda creepy.
Anyway, I let the dog sleep on my bed and we've been having some negotiations on who sleeps where. I have been staking claim, sometimes at my own peril, to my side of the bed. And he has been wanting to sleep there too, or else on the right hand side of me, closer to the window. Last night was loud and wintry again and I was kinda being nicer to him and moving more into the centre of the bed. And then I realised that it's like ridiculous to only sleep on one side of a queen size bed and not fully enjoy the luxury of you know ... the star position, or sleeping diagonally, or trying out the other side of the bed entirely. I mean, I might be single for the rest of my life, do I really want to spend the next 60 years sleeping all cramped up holding onto the dream of sharing my bed and my life with someone? Seemed a bit pathetic an idea at midnight last night.
I think I'm finally coming to an acceptance of things. That maybe I'm meant to be single. And that actually, that's ok. I'm happy in my life. My life is filled with love and laughter and inspiration. And I'm gonna be ok.
And so, I decided to sleep on the other side of the bed last night. And you know what? Best night sleep I've had in ages.