Damnit. And I know it's gonna take me a good few weeks at least of hard work to come back from that fucking one bad choice.
Yesterday I went to lunch with two work friends and I ordered fruit toast. Seemed like almost all I could handle to eat. It's listed on the menu as "fruit toast" no other information. But it comes to the table and is clearly fruit AND NUT. And that just makes me angry these days to not disclose nuts. And I dunno, maybe they were almonds, which is not really the same as peanuts, but you'd think you'd mention the presence of nuts. Normally I'd be too polite and I'd eat round them or some stupid thing but yesterday I looked at that and at my two friends, both of whom have gluten issues, and I got up and sent it back and asked for plain, dry, white, toast.
I can't much stomach the idea of much in the way of complicated food at the moment and the smell of processed, commercial, fast food makes me want to hurl. I managed to raise myself up the eating food chain to homemade sushi last night - rice, seaweed, tuna (no added anything), avocado and cucumber. And that was nice. And today I had my first weak cup of coffee. But I can see that this is going to be a few weeks of going gentle on myself and trying to calm it all down. My guts still ache from one end to the other.
And, it kinda brings home to me how much shit we just put into our mouths and never think about. I can feel myself coming back round to another round of stripping out the processed shit in my diet. But if one tiny flavouring can make you that sick, what are the rest of them doing that we eat each and every day? I hate thinking about it.