girlie jones (girliejones) wrote,
girlie jones
girliejones

Starting to feel like "sorted" is within reach

So this morning, my taxes got lodged. Well they went to the accountant, which is close to getting lodged. That doesn't mean my pain is over but it does mean the end of the pain is within reach. This is usually where I falter and don't finish the job. But not this time. This time, I'm serious and I even spent this evening still going on the TPP financial tracking stuff. I reckon if I keep apace, I could be done by the weekend. I mostly just have a few final things to track down, double check or explain/reference. And once that's done, I'm ready to work out the equations that will give me about 10 very important numbers. I'm hoping at least a few of them might be in black text but we'll see.

Working on the taxes has meant sorting through receipts and invoices and papers galore and as these have been entered in the appropriate spreadsheet, I've been filing them. Which has led to massive tidy up and clear spaces. Which in turn has led to further decluttering. I always forget that I just need to clear one space to get my head into a space where I continue decluttering and clearing up and putting away. I'm starting to feel like I have control over this stuff. And also, I'm finally in a place where I can face all the crap that I moved when I moved house and am starting to sort and toss and declutter because I really do not want to move a lot of that stuff next time. And that's all sort of freeing. My study is really starting to look organised, which I don't think it has done in years (as in, maybe like 4 study spaces ago?)

And so I found myself reading Breaking Dawn this evening because decluttering includes reading books you have borrowed so you can return them. And also ironing fat quarters for a baby quilt, late at night, and oddly finding that soothing. I've been worried for the last week or more about how I have just abandoned craft projects in favour of decluttering, sorting finances and reading. It's been a really really long time since I read in preference to crafting (like not since before the onset of the OCD). And I've been worried about what this meant. Have a lost my creativity mojo? Am I stressed? Will I ever want to craft again? If I do get back into crafting, will I lose my reading mojo again? And on. But I think, actually, this means I'm mentally better and healthier than I have been in a long time. That I am getting better at balancing competing interests and needs. And that I am enjoying getting long pressing to do items done - spaces cleared, tasks finished, borrowed items returned. And maybe, that I finally have concentration to sit and read a whole novel in one go again. I'd like to be able to do everything, in perfect balance, all the time. But don't we all?

Maybe if I can get on top of my life, and get all my long behind tasks up to date, I'll be able to sew and read and have my taxes in on time. Here's to wishes coming true!

Tags: craft, life, ocd, reading
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