June 19th, 2008

Willow

Well hello there blog!!!

Long time no see.

I've become one of those mega-boring people, haven't I? I should do something really exciting like get on a plane and blog about faraway, exciting lands. I'll put that on next week's to do list, I think. *grin*

Ooh, that might be me getting excited!!!

Other than that, I have nothing interesting to say. I went to bed at 4pm yesterday, missed the work dinner I had organised and then got up at 8am today for work. I've not slept 16hours in any one long stretch since probably school camp. I look less horrific today. Which is good. Still not quite functioning at optimal - forgot my gym clothes for pilates today. Also got hassled at work for sleep deprivation. Nothing like the whole group looking at you expectantly in a meeting for an explanation as to why you have no idea what you are currently working on and other people making naughty comments. Fun times. I don't think I left the meeting with my dignity.

Other than that, I've been thinking a lot lately about ... stuff. And I realised that this is probably the first time in my life that I have actually lived as a proper adult. Seems weird to write that even. But living alone has brought me that - this is the first time in my life I really haven't had to answer to anybody else, not a parent, not a partner and not a flatmate, about what I do and when I do it. There's nobody there to see how I live my life. And it's very freeing, obviously. But the other thing that it forces you to do, is to take control and make your decisions for yourself. And probably, I don't much do that. I think most of the time, I let someone else direct me or I take direction from what other people do. But lately, I've been living differently. And it's kind of interesting to see what happens when you shake the "good girl" persona, the person who wants *everyone else* to be okay with who you are, and you do, not what other people tell you is right and proper or appropriate, but what you are comfortable with doing. And what you want to do.

It seems such a funny thing to write down, really. And I wonder why it has taken me so long to get to a place where I navigate through life with my own directional device instead of borrowing everyone else's. And on rereading the above, why I use the second person instead of the first.

Which is all an interesting about the way of saying that ... I kind of love my life right now. I am totally happy with what is going on in it, even if it is not how other people would like me to live and that I am finally okay with thinking, "that's okay for them but this is my life and I'm the one who has to own it and be happy in it". And that maybe other people don't really have the power to be able to decide what actually makes me happy?

I've never actually let go in life before. I've never really just thought "heck, I'm gonna wander down this path and see what's beyond that curve". And funnily enough, whenever I did think about letting go, I always thought things would spiral out of control in some hideous, uncontrolled fashion. And yeah, I'm not saying that it's not. I just didn't know I'd still have a smile on my face and be okay with that when it happened.

So ... life is nothing like what I thought it would be like.
Willow

Buswell and his chair, that's all that's gonna be left in the room

So... another one bites the dust eh?

THE strife-ridden West Australian Liberals have plunged further into turmoil with the resignation of former leader Paul Omodei from the party.

Mr Omodei announced his immediate resignation from the party just two days after Troy Buswell survived another party room challenge to his leadership.

Mr Omodei told parliament the last straw was Mr Buswell's handling of a corruption report involving racing and gaming spokesman John McGrath.

Mr Buswell, who took over as leader from Mr Omodei in January, faced a spill motion on Tuesday for not immediately sacking Mr McGrath in light of the Corruption and Crime Commission (CCC) report.

Mr Buswell, who has admitted to once sniffing a female staff member's chair, survived the challenge - his second in six weeks.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23889236-29277,00.html

You know, heh, it's never going to end well when the end of every political article they write includes "Mr Buswell, who has admitted to once sniffing a female staff member's chair", whether it's relevant or not.

It's wrong to laugh. Well, no it's not really. But ... I think we should start taking bets on *how* early this state goes to polls. I reckon it's going to be long before November ... maybe just after they fix the gas crisi and just before petrol hits $2 a litre.
Willow

Also - on letting go

Things are going to have to change a bit when I get back, I think.

I'm ridiculously overly scheduled and have been for months. Lots of you already know this, especially when I have no room to move with spontaneous activities. Partly that's cause of my new year's resolution to only say no to invitations if I'm already busy. That's been a great resolution, even if I have been crazy busy - I've done heaps of things I wouldn't otherwise have done and I love catching up with people in RL. It's given me the opportunity to get a lot closer to a lot of friends, which has been awesome. It also means though that I am usually way booked up with stuff and can't much do things on the spur of the moment. But, that's life, eh.

And that's not the bit that I want to change, not really.

The bit I want to change, is something else ... something *much* harder to let go over and be less in control of. Eek. I think it's time to admit that I can't do everything at TPP *and* live my life at this pace. I have no idea what that actually means, in reality. But ... there it is. I need to let go of control of stuff, I guess.
Willow

Global roaming - CHECK!

Okay - so my mobile is sorted for global roaming.

If you need to sms me while I'm away - you can! If you think you might want to sms me and don't have my number, email me and I'll give it to you.

(To do list tally: 5/68)