Tonight I had dinner with my ex-sister-in-law. *Finally* It's taken me more than 8 months to work up to it. I didn't want her to think that I wanted to meet up to hear about the ex and his new life - cause I am seriously uninterested - and I didn't want her to think that I wanted to meet up with her to brag about my new life and have her report that back to him - cause see the first point about not caring.
Thing is though, she and I were friends and lived together, of sorts, for a big chunk of my just passed life and well ... much as we fought and argued and whatever, she actually was a good friend to me. She always told me the truth, and gave me advice woman to woman and even if it was not what I wanted to hear, didn't detract from the fact that she was ultimately right. And she would have saved me 5 years of angst if I'd listened.
But ... how I knew that she is really and truly a friend of mine is that when I was at my ultimate lowest and I desperately needed her help - to help me pack up all my stuff and move it out of the ex's house within several hours so I could once and for all get the hell out (and couldn't get myself to get it done), she was there and she helped me. We worked our arses off for about 5 hours to get it all moved. And I never would have gotten it done on my own and I HAD to get out. And there was so much emotional baggage in that process and she just rolled over the top of it and got the job done.
And it's meant a lot to me and I wanted to thank her in person for it.
And tonight finally we had dinner. And when I thanked her and told her how much that meant to me, she nearly cried. She said that she saw how much pain I was in and that she didn't even think a dog deserved that (but she loves dogs so not sure if that's better or worse?) and that she would have done that for anyone who needed it done. And you know what? She would have. As would I. But the fact is, she did it for me and I'll always remember that. And appreciate it.
So we had a lovely dinner and traded stories and secrets and advice and experience, just like we always did. And I had a good night. We had times where we were the best of friends and we leaned on each other and this was a lovely salute to those days. I hope we will remain friends because she is a good person and she is worldly and world wise and she gives good advice. And I am glad to have been able to return some of that tonight.
And in all ... it was a really healing thing to do and I am glad to have done it.