December 9th, 2008


Not a meme

Something that amused in my inbox today, especially in light of discussion around the "australian meme".

Growing up Jewish:

If you are Jewish, and grew up in city with a large Jewish population, or are gentile with Jewish friends or associates, the following will invoke heartfelt memories.

The Yiddish word for Today is PULKES (PUHL-kees)
Translation: THIGHS.
Please note: this word has been traced back to the language of one of the original Tribes of Israel , the Cellulites.

The only good advice that your Jewish mother gave you was:"Go! You might meet somebody!"

You grew up thinking it was normal for someone to shout "Are you okay?" through the bathroom door when you were in there longer than 3 minutes.

Your family dog responded to commands in Yiddish.

Every Saturday morning your father went to the neighborhood deli (called an "appetitizing store") for whitefish salad, whitefish "chubs", lox (nova if you were rich!), herring, corned beef, roast beef, cole slaw, potato salad, a 1/2-dozen huge barrel pickles which you reached into the brine for, a dozen assorted bagels, cream cheese and rye bread (sliced while he waited). All of which would be strictly off-limits until Sunday morning.

Every Sunday afternoon was spent visiting your grandparents and/or other relatives.

You experienced the phenomenon of 50 people fitting into a 10-foot-wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.

You had at least one female relative who penciled on eyebrows which were always asymmetrical.

You thought pasta was stuff used exclusively for Kugel and kasha with bowties.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You were as tall as your grandfather by age seven and a half.

You never knew anyone whose last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes (berg, baum, man, stein and witz).

You were surprised to discover that wine doesn't always taste like cranberry sauce.

You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.

When your mother smacked you really hard, she continued to make you feel bad for hurting her hand.

You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.

You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't know exactly what they mean. Kaynahurra.

You're still angry at your parents for not speaking both Yiddish and English to you when you were a baby.

You have at least one ancestor who is somehow related to your spouse's ancestor.

Your grandparents' newly washed linoleum floor was covered with the NY Times, which your grandparents couldn't read.

You thought speaking loud was normal.

You considered your Bar or Bat Mitzvah a "Get Out of Hebrew School Free" card.

You think eating half a jar of dill pickles is a wholesome snack.

You're compelled to mention your grandmother's "steel cannonballs" upon seeing fluffy matzo balls served at restaurants.

You buy 3 shopping bags worth of hot bagels on every trip to NYC and ship them home via FedEx. (Or, if you live near NYC or Philadelphia or another Jewish city hub, you drive 3 hours just to buy a dozen "real" bagels.)

Your mother or grandmother took personal pride when a Jew was noted for some accomplishment (showbiz, medicine, politics, etc.) and was ashamed and embarrassed when a Jew was accused of a crime... as if they were relatives.

You thought only non-Jews went to sleep away colleges. Jews went to city schools ... unless they had scholarships or made an Ivy League school.

And finally, you knew that Sunday night and the night after any Jewish holiday was designated for Chinese food. Zei gezunt!!

Ahh statistics, how thou amuse!

So I'm browsing the news page and I see this headline: Women Want Post-sex cuddle, not foreplay. And I think, "huh. Really?" and try to decide where I sit on this spectrum as I click on the link to open it.

Here's the top of the article:

FORGET foreplay, it's what comes after sex that matters most to women, a survey has found.
A survey of more than 5600 women in Japan shows almost half (49 per cent) want a longer continuation of intimate interactions with their partner after sex.

This compares to 44 per cent who said they wanted longer foreplay and the 38 per cent of women who said they wanted longer actual intercourse.

Am I wrong in thinking that 49% for post-sex cuddle versus 44% more foreplay is kinda really evens stevens? Significant difference wise? Do you also read these results as, actually love partner, women want MORE!!!!!! More before, more during, more after! MORE MORE MORE!!


Australian Writers to Watch

After we posted the LSS lists for 2007 I made a post with the writers I was going to look out for, I spose in 2008? I made it here - that's for accuracy because I listed:

Cat Sparks
Bren MacDibble
Trent Jamieson

And I think that was a pretty good call. Cat followed up her multidunious noms and AA sweeps last year with representation on this years AA shortlists. Trent is nominated in three categories this year. And Bren has an awesomely beautiful story in Shiny 4 - that's both SF and Fantasy and YA - tell me that's not hard to do!

So I've been thinking what my list would look like this year ... I'm gonna stick to newer talent because I already look forward to looking out for what bigger names are writing next.

Angela Slatter
Peter M Ball
Stephanie Campisi
Jason Fischer
Lyn Battersby

And it's getting harder since I'm in a position to be able to go and hassle writers I'm interested in and make em write stuff - I do it with Angela and Tansy and now I'm going to be doing it with Peter too (sequel, damnit!). And I also know what's waiting in the wings at TPP - like some interesting novellas, both by writers in the above list and others*. And at least one other interesting book idea that is also in the sort of works stage too.

*I got novella pitches coming out my ears at the moment!



I think I lost $15 today. Literally.

I had a massage at work, was relaxed and got dressed, paid and was cleaning my glasses before I put them back on when the therapist handed me my change just as the left lens popped out of my glasses. And then I don't remember. I didn't put the change - 3 $5 notes - back in my purse but carried them and my purse back to my office as I was trying to fix my glasses. And I don't remember. How funny is that that not being able to see, removing just one of your senses, removes all of them. I couldn't see properly as I walked back and then I didn't manage to get the lens back in at the right angle so looking through my glasses was making me feel sick.

I had to go home and get a spare pair so I could work for the rest of the day and it wasn't till I was going home at the end of the day that I realised I have no memory of where I put the money. A frantic search has not located the money.

And I feel really really upset about it. And when I was thinking through the upset I realised that it wasn't the money - $15 is not *lots* of money, I can skip a coffee or a meal out or something to make it up. It was the feeling of not being in control, of not being able to see because my glasses were broken and then I couldn't do anything else in my day. I was literally helpless. I didn't like that feeling at all.