March 16th, 2009


Seek medical help

I finally got my headache looked at today.

My Physio: So? How can I help you?
Me: I've had a headche for 11 days.
Physio: riiiiight
Me: And I tried everything else first
Physio: So you've had a headache for 11 days and you tried everything else first, even though we've had this conversation before ...?
Me: Ah, yes

As I lay there and my neck got treated we had a chat - she really is the best physio I have come across but she's not gentle. It's not relaxing nor enjoyable. Still, I discovered she is a total SF freak! Did I know this before?

I might have to go back later in the week if I still, ahem, have a headache. *cough*


Perspective - middle of the story

After a crazy weekend of non-work, meltdown and other miscellaneous kinda important life things, today was reasonably mellow.

I got my headache seen to ... and I think it is much better, almost gone.

I got 4 stories edited for NCN and am working on the 5th. Read through the rewrites of a 6th and have realised the world is not ending. Thank goodness!

Meanwhile, Tehani has been coordinating edits and proofing and laying the book out and ... it looks more like a book than not, right now. Which is a bit scary and exciting, simultaneously.

I have some regrets about some of how I have acted over the past couple of days - in relation to one friend in particular. I feel awful and rotten and ashamed about it. Though still, I can see some learning things in it that I may reflect on in a post for later. If I can look at that part of my self in the mirror.

What I do find frustrating is being in the middle of a story - it's so much easier to look back on things after they have finished and figure out how you should have been or how you should have handled something or whether it was worth the energy at all. In the middle, you don't know how it's all going to go, you have to think on your feet. And you have to risk the ending and hope you are risking it in the direction you want it to go.

However, I am surrounded by the most awesome and amazing and loving and compassionate and giving group of friends and family anyone could every dream of being part of. Filled with such patience and advice and wisdom and so willing to share it, kindly and with love. I am spoiled in the riches of these people. And if people I so respect and admire love me, I will attempt to use this to navigate myself out of here and to better, smoother sailing (ooh a nautical metaphor). And to encourage me to be a better friend in return.

Anyway, that's where I am today, tonight. After a better day but also after a day of reflection and seeing some situations that perhaps I could have handled better. And some places maybe I could have cut myself some slack.