April 25th, 2009

Willow

Loooong Weekend

In which I have many many plans and good intentions. I shall list them here and tick them off. With the intention of kicking arse.

1. Win at the Book of Endings (Yes the 3 of us have become quite competitive on this project and that would be why 15 of the 21 stories have been edited, line edited, proofed and sent to layout already)
2. Do the first pass edit of Horn
3. Get Shiny 5 ready for distribution
4. Sort the Buffy Commentary over at the Shiny blog
5. Sort the Shiny Swancon writing comp mop up
6. Finish tax receipts as sorted out in the lounge room
7. Make serious progress on the TPP taxes and accounts systems
8. Pick up and settle in doggie
9. Get black fabric for hexagon quilt from Spotlight
10. Complete report for manuscript
11. Update TPP website
12. Get up to date on Shiny slush
13. Look at novella subs
14. Make some progress on LSS reading
15. Tidy up House!
16. Sort Swancon monies
17. Get emails under 90.
18. Sort survey
19. Do some meal planning
20. Get resume up to scratch
21. Draft a list of criteria for job hunt
22. READ SOMETHING FOR FUN
23. Start Shadow Unit
24. Catch up on the Dollhouse

me

Yet more progress

I'm cleaning out my study (yeah I know it's not on the list, whatever!) and I'm finally going through the last few boxes of crap from when I moved out from the ex. I've made this realisation in the last couple of months that my life is not actually in transition anymore. I mean, yeah, the job thing is gonna be change and I'm getting a dog tomorrow etc. But what I mean is, I need to look at this as my life. That this is what it looks like. And be happy in it. Not be looking for some big thing to come in and sweep me off my feet and put my in the picture frame that I think/thought I want(ed) my life to be like.

And part of that realisation has come through finally wanting and being able to properly unpack things and sort through things, chuck out crap and look at things that maybe I hadn't been able to before now. I guess this is the stuff they mean when they say it supposedly takes half the time you were together to fully get over it (although, I am not taking 3 years to get over him, Screw that for a waste of time).

In any case, I just came across two photos of us - one from a wedding we went to not long before his father died and one of the two of us at my sister's wedding. The first one we do kinda look happy. And I stared at it for ages - and maybe kinda missed the things I loved about him. And then I came across the second, about a year before we broke up? He hadn't even properly shaved for my sister's wedding. And looking at that photo, I remembered how that day I had woken at 3am with a splitting earache and how I had gone through the whole day smiling for my sister and trying not to cry I was in so much agony and how when I called and asked him to get something from the chemist for me (one of the groomsmen was a dr and made a suggestion) he said no.

I guess it's good to have perspective. To be able to look at the whole thing and know there were things that I loved and enjoyed. But there are also a lot of reasons why it didn't work and why I am here now, living this other version of my life. One that I didn't really imagine for but am happy in, nonetheless. It's nice to finally have distance from it.

Willow

The week that was

The vibe at work has been funny. I'm glad that I have my two close friends at work to go through this with, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's hard not to feel like management let us down and it's hard to be passionate about work that you know is going to be assigned a lower priority and dropped for the reduced group's workload later in the year.

On the other hand, our new boss is awesome and it's nice to feel like we have an advocate again.

So work has been less than motivating to go to in the morning. But yesterday I went out on a field trip with another team member and we saw 4 different types of ducks all in the one location AND several other kinds of birds. Was pretty exciting and made me regret not having paid more attention to bird type stuff earlier :) At one point, my colleague says to me - we have to hop this fence here, I didn't tell you that before I asked you to come out with me (we had permission). I'm not really one for the whole roughing it thing and commented along those lines as we made our way across a field and she laughed and pointed out that botanists are considered the nerdiest of scientists yet have the most exciting and adventurous jobs. And that's true I guess. I always liked the scientist characters in movies like Jurassic Park and Twister yet I complain the most and the loudest when I am actually out in the field gathering data. It's mostly cause I don't like snakes. *shakes head* Why did I specialise in habitat designed for snakes?

Finished the week with catundra's birthday dinner - which was with friends and good food and excellent wine - after work drinks. Maybe too much wine but it was a tough week! I was very proud of myself for navigating to Midland from work and then from Midland home (especially as I kinda got lost on the way home but got there all the same).

And got home to my shiny car, back from the repairs shop thanks to my Mum and sister sorting that for me.

And yay for long weekend! So far I have done minimal work, taken a long hot bath with a glass of bubbly and watched 4 episodes of BSG (yes, fine, I did just cheer loudly - lucky doggie who might need quiet and restful space doesn't get here till tomorrow).