May 8th, 2009


Yo babe, what's cookin'?

I'm in a silly mood. Sorry.

Must be cause there's new Trek out! Am actually wondering when I can see it again. Loved it so much.


Am recovering from crazy busyness at work, with less crazy busy today and more ... oh is that the colour of my desk? Nice. I thought it was green.

Yesterday I did my fitness test as the new starting point with my trainer. She had all these stats to compare my performance to which really appealed to my competitive side. My conclusions though were that the average person in my age group is kinda fat and lazy and also that Connecticut must not need an overly buff police force (I did the necessary number of pushups to qualify and am not at my peak pushup fitness).

Then I raced home to shower and meet R and his friend from work for dinner before Trek. Hans failed us and we were forced to eat Popcorn Combos for dinner. I tried a Rollo Choc Top. Hmm ...

Trek was awesome.

And then back home where I oddly needed, apparently, to curb my overenthusiasm for space travel with two episodes of BSG. I am three eps away from the end of Season 3 now. And ... man. It's gruelling.

I also sent out and blogged the links to a survey we are conducting concerning Swancon 2009. And chatted a bit with Peter about Horn deadlines.

Woke up this morning to a really good day! My printer is going to redo the remaining covers of New Ceres Nights because I was unhappy with the way the job was done. Looks like we have the final order for A Book of Endings sorted. And a couple of other things are ticking along nicely.

Looking forward to the weekend. I am going to commence it with a visit to my massage therapist (got a crick in my neck!) and then Stand By Me. I might live tweet it. Maybe.

Funny how things pan out

You know, maybe the crazy psychic tupperware lady wasn't so off-base after all. editormum said to me months ago, "You know you could spend the rest of your life trying to figure out what she meant" which was about the time I started to realise that actually, maybe it was all kinda crap.

What she actually said was "blah blah [details about my lovelife] blah blah" but that in a year or so from then (probably about that now) I would be so much happier and have so much love in my life and I need to take the blindfolds off and look around. And the thing is, cause what I wanted to hear then was that there would be someone else out there for me and I wouldn't be destined for a life alone and single, I thought she meant ... well, the obvious. But it occurs to me that right now, I am so much happier than I have been in a very long time and I am surrounded by so much love that I just can't fathom it. Cause as usual, I was thinking along one-track and that's not how the universe works at all. I feel loved every single day. I feel loved by friends, by a lot of friends. By people at work, by people I have known my whole life cause we did time in the same school, by people I've met at old jobs, and in new places and from people I've only ever spoken to online. My life is filled with love and laughter every single day.

Even though I live alone and am single.

I never ever could have contemplated being here. In this crazy full-on life that I have now. That I never actually truly feel lonely in. I am surrounded by so many people who mesh with me in so many different ways. It's unbelivably fulfilling. And I finally get it. I think. I have people to talk over how my day went. Who remember and ask me how particular things went or if I enjoyed blah blah. I have people to say good night to at the end of the day and who check in with me in the morning. I have people to go out to dinner with, have brunch with, see crazy stupid flicks with and deeply serious docos with, see art, see plays, go to music festivals. Travel with. Friends who will come and fix things for me or sit with me and give me a hug. I have people to share my sorrows with and celebrate my wins. Friends to hear my secrets and who share theirs with me. People who ask for and people who give me advice.

Being single doesn't mean being alone.

And what's crazy is I'm sitting here and laughing about what my life looks like now, today, a year and a half after my break up. How now it's the colours of a kaleidoscope, and often as dizzying, and back then it was that blue-grey of war documentaries, and usually as depressing. How if I were still with him, I wouldn't have gone to Swancons. I wouldn't be a chair of a future one. Not only would I not have gone last night and seen Trek with everyone, but I probably wouldn't have seen it at all. And that there's this wide gap in my movie knowledge cause we just didn't go to movies or watch DVDs at all. For like 5 of the 6 years. What kind of a life is that? And why would you want to grab hold of that and keep it?

I'm laughing because I never would have thought that my life would be here - where I am asking crankynick if he is ok with less cool tentacles for his squid hat, and I'm working out who to share a room with at Natcon in Adelaide and figuring out what I'm doing for Worldcon and talking over with everyone about the movie I got to see on opening night. And discovering that one of my work colleagues is a massive Trek and BSG fan (how did I miss this?! She just said this to me: But cause you are an outrageous chic anyhow, I immediately liked you –your wacky soh also makes you stand out like dogs balls in this place!! Not sure I like being likened to dogs balls but there you are! How others see me, I guess!). I wonder if I knew that *this* is what my life would be like after the ex, whether I would have had the guts to leave. And I am always sad that I had so low self-esteem that I never believed that my life could be like this, because of me, and totally separate to him.

As my mother always says, you never know the end of the story till the end of the story.

Between Deadlines

In a slight lull at the moment - Horn edits are out, I do have BoE work to do and some finishing off of NCN but I am also catching up on stuff. Did a bunch of Shiny slush work today. Have 19 more stories left for consideration and a couple of other things in that inbox to sort out. Then it's novella slush for me.


Ditmar Ballot

The Ditmar sub-committee is very pleased to release the Australian SF ("Ditmar") Awards ballot for 2009, and declare voting open. Only members of the 2008 Natcon (Swancon) and 2009 Natcon (Conjecture) are eligible to vote.

Postal ballots will be distributed by post in the near future. Voting may also take place directly via email to, and an online voting form will be made available as soon as we can.

The Ditmar Rules can be found online at
Voting is an optional preferential ballot in all categories. Information on this form of voting can be found at
Any correspondence on the Ditmars may be addressed to

David Cake
Sub-committee Chair

This years Ditmar ballot is:

Best Novel
Fivefold, Nathan Burrage
Hal Spacejock: No Free Lunch, Simon Haynes
Tender Morsels, Margo Lanagan
How to Ditch Your Fairy, Justine Larbalestier
Daughter of Moab, Kim Westwood
Earth Ascendant, Sean Wiliams

Best Novella
Soft Viscosity, David Conyers
Night Heron's Curse, Thoraiya Dyer
Angel Rising, Dirk Flinthart
Creeping in Reptile Flesh, Robert Hood
Painlessness, Kirstyn McDermott

Best Short Story
Pale Dark Soldier, Deborah Biancotti
This Is Not My Story, Dirk Flinthart
The Goosle, Margo Lanagan
Her Collection of Intimacy, Paul Haines
Moments of Dying, Rob Hood
Sammarynda Deep, Cat Sparks
Ass-Hat Magic Spider, Scott Westerfeld

Best Collected Work
Dreaming Again, edited by Jack Dann
Canterbury 2100, edited by Dirk Flinthart
2012, edited by Alisa Krasnostein and Ben Payne
Midnight Echo, edited by Kirstyn McDermott and Ian Mond
Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine, edited by Angela Challis
Creeping In Reptile Flesh, Robert Hood
The Starry Rift, edited by Jonathan Strahan

Best Artwork
Aurealis #40 cover, Adam Duncan
The Last Realm, Book 1 - Dragonscarpe, Michael Dutkiewics
gallery in Black Box, Andrew McKiernan
Creeping In Reptile Flesh cover, Cat Sparks
Cover of 2012, Cat Sparks
Tales from Outer Suburbia, Shaun Tan

Best Fan Writer
Craig Bezant for Horrorscope
Edwina Harvey for Australian Science Fiction Bullsheet
Robert Hood for Undead Backbrain
Chuck McKenzie for Horrorscope
Mark Smith-Briggs for Horrorscope
Brenton Tonlinson, Horrorscope

Best Fan Artist
Rachel Holkner, for Gumble Soft toy and other works
Nancy Lorenz for body of work
Andrew McKiernan for body of work
Tansy Rayner Roberts for Daleks are a Girl's Best Friend
David Schembri for body of work
Cat Sparks for Scary Food Cookbook
Anna Tambour, Box of Noses and other works

Best Fan Publication
Horrorscope, Brimstone Press
Scary Food Cookbook, edited by Cat Sparks
ASif! (Australian Speculative Fiction In Focus)
Australian SF Bullsheet

William Atheling Jr Award for Criticism or Review
Dark Suspense: The End of the Line by Shane Jiraiya Cummings (in Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine #3)
George A. Romero: Master of the Living Dead by Robert Hood (in Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine #2)
Bad Film Diaries - Sometimes the Brand Burns: Tim Burton and the Planet of the Apes, Grant Watson (in Borderlands #10)
"Popular genres and the Australian literary community: the case of fantasy fiction," Journal of Australian Studies, Kim Wilkins

Best Achievement
Angela Challis for Black: Australian Dark Culture Magazine and Brimstone Press.
Marty Young and the AHWA Committe for promoting horror through the Australian Horror Writers Association
Talie Helene for her work as AHWA News Editor
Steve Clark for Tasmaniac Productions
Damien Broderick for fiction editing in Cosmos Magazine
James Doig for preserving colonial Australian horror fiction and his anthologies Australian Gothic and Australian Nightmares.
The Gunny Project: A tribute to Ian Gunn 1959-1998, Jocko and K'Rin, presented MSFC

Best New Talent
Peter M. Ball
Felicity Dowker
Jason Fischer
Gary Kemble
Amanda Pillar


Friday night

Ahh ... back from my massage and my neck doesn't hurt anymore and I can look all the way over my left shoulder again. Back to doing this monthly, I think. She wants to work on things in the hope of improving my Crohn's. When orthodox medicine fails you, that kinda thinking doesn't bother you anymore. And really, when it means I spend an hour at the end of the week in a space that is truly restful and relaxing, how can that not improve one's digestion?

Came home too relaxed to do anything useful. Failed on the watching of Stand by Me. That might be an activity for tomorrow. Watching BSG instead and maybe an early night.

Tomorrow is the next Swancon 36 meeting. I have actioned all my action points. I'm going to try and fit in a quick visit to Spotlight before the meeting to get a new rotary cutter and board - lack of these are what is stopping me from getting the borders done for my kimono project and I really want that to be finished before this year's Craft and Quilt fair in *ahem* two weeks time.

And then I think I have a quiet weekend ... of editing. And catching up on TPP. And taxes. And the house.