November 13th, 2009

Willow

Hello November

So this would be the third year in a row I've done this but yes, I left a lot of my LSS reading til November and that means that what with everything and anything else, I have the panic of needing to make my daily reading tally or it all goes haywire.

On top of that, financial stress seems to have kicked me in the arse. In much the same way that a friend of mine told me yesterday that he knew he had two deadlines on top of each other but he didn't *know know*. I might have mocked at the time. And then my own *know* turned into a *know know* when I had to look at my money yesterday and realised that I had reinvested all of TPP into TPP. Which is the point and I knew all that but I'm not sure where I thought the schedule for 2010 was going to get paid from. And like, I *knew* the money sitting in the TPP accounts was my personal money ie the printing bills I'd paid with my own credit card and that the official balance of the press was nowhere near the number in the bank account. But I hadn't really let that sink in.

Which is to say, in the end it will all work out, I'm sure, one way or another. But right now I am living on schpilkers (highly panicked, maybe in shvitzing) for all of my waking hours and am not sleeping awesomely well. I have a ton of deadlines all converging on the end of the month and I have to produce a couple of miracles.

And when I am in this state, a bunch of other things get sucked into the slip stream and pulled into the vortex. If I can't solve X, I will look to solve Y and Z, to make myself feel partially better for a moment or two. Repeat. So whilst I know I'm pretty highly stressed right now, when I hit December, there's gonna be this ridiculously huge list of things that I produced, completed and did in November.

And I'm interested to see what I do with that money situation, to be honest.

Number of stories left to read: 257