November 24th, 2009



Time is a weird thing - it speeds up through the year but somehow you can fit more in and get more done the closer it gets to the end.

Maybe that's cause you spent the frst 10 months doing 80% of the work across 80% of your tasks but still ... it feels like I will get more done in the next month than I did all year. And yet, it was one heck of a year. One helluva ride, that's for sure. And I can't help thinking next year will attempt to see this year and raise it.

I woke up to a job offer today. Not the one I wanted but the one I took, by lunchtime.

This year I did 4 books and 2 issues of Shiny, 4 conventions and the Aurealis Award weekend. I adopted a dog. It was frantic. Next year I am doing 6 TPP books, 1 final issue of Shiny, 1 Worldcon, 1 Swancon and 1 Swancon launch. I will become an aunt. And some other things yet to be announced. What's more than frantic? I hate to think.


Abject Horror

There are no words with which I can describe just how it feels in that moment you realise that the puddle your dog is lying in at your feet, under the toilet, is in fact black water dripping out the back of the s-bend post flushing.

None at all.

Will I ever feel clean again? I'm not sure.

Benji and I have both been thoroughly washed, the bathroom floor has been sort of disinfected and my bed sheets changed. But you know ... the floors! the Carpets! Bleurgh.

Next stop, calling the plumber. When does the good stuff about being a responsible adult kick in?

ETA: Actually I must admit I have a really lovely plumber - he always remembers who I am (yes he's been out about 4 times since I've lived here. The house is old and the pipes shot to hell. And I have a bowel disease - though surely still flush less than a family would). And he is coming between 7 and 7.30 am tomorrow. Now to deciding that floor is properly disinfected before he gets here and walks on it. Yuck.


OCD Watch

Had a minor meltdown tonight though nowhere near as bad as I have been before. Anxiety levels are probably a 7, if I concentrate too hard moving into an 8/8.5.

Diary of a distressed mind:

Showers: 3 (incl washing hair)
Benji washes: 1
Bedclothes changed: 1
Towels used and sent to the wash: 3 (and one to the bin)
Cleaned the floor: 2
Bottles of pineoclean used: 1
Handwashing: beyond counting
Hours spend washing/cleaning: 2
Verdict germ free?: No

Achieved anything else since coming home?: watched one episode of the Dollhouse and made dinner. Been home 4.5 hours.

Can't convince myself that washing the floor with pineoclean and throwaway towels is as clean or cleaner than using a bucket of soapy water and a mop. (Mop was not deemed clean enough to begin the exercise with) Am worried in some places all I did was top disinfectant on toilet water and didn't remove the [whatever] from the floor. And I didn't scrub the base of the toilet etc.

Not sure how I will manage to clean the floors after the plumber has trekked in and out of my house. Focussed on planning a route that will mean that I do not reinfect clean areas. Will probably lose sleep over this.