February 10th, 2010



Things are starting to move and progress and feel a bit more organised and productive out my way. I've had editor's block for over a month which has been ... probably more draining than anything else (increasing guilt over lack of progressing and being on top of things which leads to further paralysis and blockage).

I have this odd relationship with my email - I need the inbox to have less than 100 emails. When there are less than 100, I can cope, doesn't matter what the to do list resulting from these emails is, I can cope. But for some reason, when the inbox hits 100, I start to feel anxious and panicked and overloaded. And it's been at about 120 with massive efforts to keep it at around there for the last couple of weeks.

In part the problem is seeing all the things I'm not getting to. And then eventually people start reemailing you to check you got the first email, and it leads to email rage :) The other problem is that you can't see what's in there and what you actually have to do with them (there's emails that are conversations or letters and then there's emails that require you to do something to be able to reply).

Yesterday though, I finally go the emails down below 100. And as soon as that happened, it was like looking at a completely different entity. I found emails that were actioned and just needed to be archived. I found emails that were follow ups to each other, so one could be filed etc etc. And once I no longer feel like I am drowning in emails, I find myself suddeny able to action things. So a bunch of things also got done yesterday - I think I actioned about 30 different things in 30 different directions. Which meant that by the end of the day, I no longer had editor's block.

In other news, I started this bizarre challenge at work - you have to do 30 minutes of physical activity and eat 2 serves of fruit and 5 serves of veggies everyday and somehow you end up walking the Bibbulmun Track. Virtually. We are doing it in teams of 6 - 8 people. And so far, I've discovered that I had no idea what a serve was and also was seriously undereating my fruit and veggies because this is a real effort to complete everyday. In part I have some fruit allergies which makes it hard. But also physically injesting that much fruit and veggies has meant that I have had to reduce the carbs that I eat. Which is not a bad thing. I thought it was a 4 week challenge but it's actually an 8 week one which is probably going to help give the lifestyle change I was looking for. It's not a diet but to meet the requirements has caused a shift in my thinking and cooking. Which is cool.

I'm also obsessed now with veggies servings.

My Mum had an operation yesterday - it was scheduled - but looks like there has been a complication and she will be in hospital for a couple of days longer than she thought.

Yesterday I was talking on the phone to maelkann whilst he was driving back to work and he says, "Hmm. I'm going to have to look into getting internet at my place, aren't I? Or else you'll never come down to visit."
It's nice to be so well understood :)

That's probably all - I'm basically trying to deal with some anxiety and stress by keeping my head down and dealing with solvable problems and work that just needs to be powered through to be dealt with. I am supposed to be finishing up on this job on Friday and starting my new one on Monday but none of the paperwork has come through. All that kind of joy.