March 4th, 2010

Willow

grumpity grump grump

The thing about chronic disease is it's all lollipops and rainbows till it isn't - and well, yeah it's not usually all lollipops and rainbows neither. After a good few months cutting out gluten as a main staple of my diet and after working on the whole 5 veg, 2 fruit thing and changing up my breakfast diet, I was starting to feel really good. Damn good. I was sleeping better. My skin looked better. I had more energy. More joie de vivre.

Damnit. And I know it's gonna take me a good few weeks at least of hard work to come back from that fucking one bad choice.

Yesterday I went to lunch with two work friends and I ordered fruit toast. Seemed like almost all I could handle to eat. It's listed on the menu as "fruit toast" no other information. But it comes to the table and is clearly fruit AND NUT. And that just makes me angry these days to not disclose nuts. And I dunno, maybe they were almonds, which is not really the same as peanuts, but you'd think you'd mention the presence of nuts. Normally I'd be too polite and I'd eat round them or some stupid thing but yesterday I looked at that and at my two friends, both of whom have gluten issues, and I got up and sent it back and asked for plain, dry, white, toast.

I can't much stomach the idea of much in the way of complicated food at the moment and the smell of processed, commercial, fast food makes me want to hurl. I managed to raise myself up the eating food chain to homemade sushi last night - rice, seaweed, tuna (no added anything), avocado and cucumber. And that was nice. And today I had my first weak cup of coffee. But I can see that this is going to be a few weeks of going gentle on myself and trying to calm it all down. My guts still ache from one end to the other.

And, it kinda brings home to me how much shit we just put into our mouths and never think about. I can feel myself coming back round to another round of stripping out the processed shit in my diet. But if one tiny flavouring can make you that sick, what are the rest of them doing that we eat each and every day? I hate thinking about it.

Willow

Last night I read for fun!

I totally did! Can you believe it?!

We have a sekrit projekt which I think will be announced etc next week. I was totally late for the meeting and then brought all the wrong tools. So after everyone patiently waited whilst I faffed around to sort myself out, we did the thing we had to do. And after that it was like 9.30 I think, and I just never got myself together to do work. Of which there was plenty.

So instead I pulled out the book that cassiphone sent me for my bday with the inscription "reading that is not work" (and it came with The Best Bday Card EVER - written by Raeli) ---> "Coffee at Luke's" - essays about The Gilmore Girls!!! Awesome!! And now I am totally into the SmartPops Books. I think I might snuffle myself some more later.

Willow

Johnny Weir

It came up tonight so I went looking for this clip on That's Gay from Infomania on Johnny Weir and how he is portrayed in the media - as fabulous, fun, controversial but never for the athlete that he is. I have fallen in love with Weir this Olympics. I find him utterly fascinating in his performance which is talented and skilled, in the way he refuses to conform, in that he is interesting and exciting and innovative, and that he is a really nice, honest, guy. A guy who is comfortable in his own skin and who seems to be able to let the rest slide.

But what I also find fascinating is how the media find interacting with him so awkward because he refuses to conform and because he camps up his image and his performance and embraces the stereotype of the male figure skater and isn't scrambling to legitimise it in ways that others might be trying to do.