May 14th, 2010


My yoga journey

Last night I hied my arse to yoga, still licking my wounds from the week before. You see, despite my size and my lack of fitness, I still have the flexibility, abdominal strength and balance that I developed years ago from years of classical ballet. They seem to have stuck for life, even though I remain the most sedentary I have ever been. So last week, after skipping one term of classes and maybe a couple before that - so maybe 6? - I was horrifed by my wobbling about when standing on one leg. And also was disgusted at the sore hamstrings I had for days afterwards. So there was no umming or ahhing this week, yoga is back on my agenda, front and centre.

AND actually, I'm finding a lot of other personal benefits from the practice that go beyond the physical exercise. I'm competitive, it's part of my nature, but that's something that you can't bring to class - mostly you end up limping the next day. Yoga is about pulling your focus into yourself and tuning out everyone else in the room. It's not about who can take the poses the furthest or whatever. And this is one thing that I have to constantly work on - not competing with the room. The other is tuning out what annoys me about the other people in the class. It's constantly frustrating that newcomers are in the advanced class, it slows it down and the constant explaining of basic poses irritates me and throws me out of what should be a constant flow. But the more annoyed I get at this, the more I remind myself that the practice of yoga is about separating the world from me, letting that slide off me and just concentrate on internal focus. It shouldn't matter to me at all who is in the room and what they are doing. And that is one thing that I am constantly work on in class. Which was just as well cause last night, on the mat next to me was a newcomer and was someone from my workplace who I find cold and standoffish. She never said a word to me. But you know ... focus internally, do not let this bother me, etc etc. And I have to admit that this practice helps me in other areas of my life. I have noticed a dramatic reduction in stress whilst driving. I have a new mantra - "it's just driving" - for when people cut in front of me, overtake me or sit on my tail. I'm just driving to where I've got to go, none of the rest of that stuff matters. And this has reduced my commuter stress and I'd say a large stressor of my day.

Yesterday though I learned an extremely important lesson (or relearned it, you gotta have several goes sometimes). My balance was still a little off last night, though better than the week before and I think this reflects the state of my brain. I'm very scattered at the moment as my focus is on proofing and final edits for three books. Three books being sent to the printers at once is quite a lot, as I am discovering. And the thing is, once these are done, I have to switch em out for the other 4. So no respite for me. And as soon as those 4 are done, I have another 3 to do which will be the first 3 for 2011. So I need to figure out how to balance this stuff cause it's not short term.

Anyway, it's felt like the whole thing has been gathering momentum - the final artwork for Glitter Rose is coming in, the final bits and pieces are back and forth and being finalised for the interals, Sprawl is similarly in and out of my inbox everyday as edits go out and come back and then proofs do and so on. Most of Sprawl is already laid out. But the work continues as the remaining ones still get the final pushes over the line. And then Horn, ahhh, the reprint. We relaid it out and changed some stuff from the first printing and then I decided to proof the final draft and argh!!! That's just been this constant back and forth of neverending new discoveries of changes that need to be made. The new look design just created so much extra work that just didn't seem to be covering any ground or getting down.

And then, just like that, last night before heading off to yoga, I hit the end point for Horn - I hit the final final changes that need to be made and the "and then it's ready for upload at the printers". And I didn't see it coming, you know? I was just working away at it at constant speed and then abruptly it was done!

And to reinforce this message to me from the universe, I went to class, got annoyed at who was in the room, pulled consciousness to focus internally, worked steadily at my poses and ....


reached half lotus on my left hand side.

I DID NOT see that coming. The lotus position for me is this ridiculous milestone because I couldn't have been further from reaching it when I started. And I thought, if I just constantly work at it, without pushing (that way leads sore knees, I already learned that) but just keep the thought in my head of one day reaching it and always just have the suggestion of the direction I want to move, maybe I will one day reach it. And then last night, in standing in tree pose, my right hand side seemed to have improved and I thought, "hey soon this could almost be something" and the left seemed also to have improved and since it had last week too, I at least had my foot in the standing lotus spot, if not the whole knee.

And then we were in the seated poses ... and half lotus on my left hand side. Holy crap!

Cause this means ... slow and steady wins the race, right? It means have patience, maintain focus and continue to work at what you do, without letting those around you distract you or engage you in a competition, just do your own thing, your own way, with your own goals. And ... you might just get there.

And then, you know, to keep me humble, my ankle gave out under me as I was walking to my car after class and I twisted my ankle. But that's just to make sure I keep it real and don't get cocky.

Dawsons Creek Season 1

I had absolutely no interest in this when cassiphone did her rewatching of this show. Maybe I thought I would never want to rewatch it? Maybe I wasn't in the mood then and am now. I'm in the mood for light TV viewing that doesn't encroach too much into whatever it is that I am actually doing and also I've been needing something light and fluffy before bedtime.

I finished Season 1 two nights ago and watched the first ep of Season 2 last night.

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Also, is it just me or do they not make as many good, decent teen shows as they did in the late nineties? I've been catching a few on Foxtel and they are awful.