July 8th, 2010

12PPpink

Galactic Suburbia Episode 11

[the management would like to note that Alisa gave up sugar this week and thus anything she says should be considered with that in mind]

In which the paradigm keeps shifting, Jasper Fforde writes dystopia, Alisa still hates pirate stories, George Lucus ruined it for the rest of us, and we wonder whether there are still readers who think you shouldn’t have SF with kissing in it.

News
Locus Award Winners
Liz Williams selling her own short fiction
Open calls for 2010 subs for Year’s Best Dark Fantasy & Horror edited by Paula Guran:
Amazing, thoughtful article about one woman’s history as a gamer and the way cyberspace still drops the ball in catering to its female audience

What have we been reading/listening to?
Alisa: Bleed, The Company Articles of Edward Teach, Breaking Dawn
Listening to Clarkesworld Podcast
Alex: Shades of Grey, Jasper Fforde; Secret Feminist Cabal, Helen Merrick
Tansy: The Demon’s Covenant by Sarah Rees Brennan; Moonshine by Alaya Dawn Johnson; listening to Boxcutters

Pet Subject: The Romantic Side of Science Fiction

Are there still readers who think SF and romance shouldn’t mix? [http://www.thegalaxyexpress.net/2010/05/why-sf-fandom-is-full-of-romance-haterz.html]
Is the lack of romance the reason that fantasy & urban fantasy are leaving science fiction in the dust commercially? What are the best and worst examples of SF colliding with a love story?
Does having a love interest make it count as a romance? Where’s the line?
Does having a plot, even just a subplot, related to characters and feelings make it not science fiction?

Alex provides this vintage quote from a letter written in 1938, from The Secret Feminist Cabal:
“…females have been dragged into the narratives and as a result the stories have become those of love which have no place in science-fiction… I believe, and I think many others are with me, that sentimentality and sex should be disregarded in scientific stories.”

Feedback, etc: galacticsuburbia@gmail.com

cuppa

And the withdrawal kicks in

Today was pretty bad on the sugar withdrawal front. If you've listened to Galactic Suburbia from last night, you might have an inkling ... it got kinda wayyy worse from there on. It never even occurred to me that the irritability could be sugar withdrawal related til cassiphone put that disclaimer on.

Today has been the absolute worst day so far and also really bad as it follows one of the worst days for me at Twelfth Planet Press - I don't mean the worst financially or crisis wise, those all seem like par of the course - I mean personally challenging on the I want to go *over there* and I currently lack the skills to get there. Or maybe I just had clarity on being able to see my own personal strengths and weaknesses. I have a lot of support, a cheer squad, people helping me out and reminding me that I am currently expecting something enormous from myself. I should expect to feel stressed and so on. I'm someone though who feels anxious when encountering something I don't know how to do. I like to know the outcome, I guess. Doesn't mean I shy away from the challenge. Doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to meet and exceed it. It just means I feel highly stressed as I demand something from myself that I don't know if I can deliver.

So ... a good time to quit sugar? I hear you ask. Actually, it's the only time to do so. Liberal applications of sugar and early and often would be how I would ordinarily cope and comfort myself under this situation. My addiction is at its worst when I am personally at mine, or at least very stressed. I need to learn how to find other ways to cope and develop new strategies to feel better.

Not grabbing a chocolate bar today was the hardest thing of all.

Leaving myself to feel the emotions - angst, antsy, nervous, frustrated, upset, disappointed, angry and so on - just as hard.

And the withdrawal symptoms of the sugar leaving my body, the cravings and the habit of throwing sugar at the problem of finding a way to dig deep and work harder and be more concerted and concentrate and so on were high high high irritability, light headedness, headache, lack of focus and restlessness. I felt AWFUL. And close to tears. I had to physically take a deep breath and count to ten before answering my phone today. And for a phone that hardly ever rings, it rang all freaking day. I spent 6 hours tracking down a task that was for me but got lost in the system two weeks ago and now has a stupid turnaround time. I wanted to climb a wall.

I was just so damn irritable. It was horrible. And odd to observe - I felt the emotion but it didn't feel like me. Like, why was I getting so easily frustrated with certain people over certain things? It felt like putting your pedal to the metal and the car not freaking GOING! Asking myself things that normally would be easy to execute and feeling like I was swimming through mud trying to get there.

I did though get a job application drafted up. Tomorrow I will finalise it and submit it. I also finalised Glitter Rose and paid half the printing bill. Sorted out some details for getting TPP stocked in another brick and mortar store.

Tomorrow is another day. And I know if this were not so hard, there would not really be a point in the exercise. And the harder it is, the more I want to kick this. I can hardly believe I actually had what it took to start this but now, after 8 days I want to be free of it and out of its control, once and for all.