By no means do I think I'm doing it on my own - I have discovered that you *are* truly rich when you have true friends and family who love you unconditionally. To be embraced and cherished when you feel at your lowest, rejected and defeated, it's pretty much the most amazing feeling. Even when I am convinced it's gonna be a rough day, there's always something - an email, a text, an invitation, a present in the mail or at my doorstep - to bring a smile to my face and uplift to my heart and soul.
I don't feel alone in this.
And because of that, everyday I see things that show me I am coming back together, to me.
I gotta lotta shit to work through here. I think when it's just you and that's it, there's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide and noone else to blame. And so I've found myself picking up a lotta junk I probably buried good on 6 years ago and sorting through it again. Looking at it and wondering if I need it. Am I going to pack it up and move house with it again or am I gonna cull, toss the junk and reduce my boxes? It's a physical and a metaphorical process for me right now.
But ... like I said ... there's glimmers of hope. Tonight I made dinner and I made enough for lunch tomorrow. I packed it all up and it's ready to go for tomorrow. That may *seem* like a regular, normal thing, and that's so the point. *That* is how far along I have come in dealing with my OCD. I can't even really believe it a) that I've come this far and b) that this same person was that same person.